i need some techie help. when looking at documents and webpages and stuff my screen just scrols up and down randomly at random times for no aparent reason. Does thta mean my mouse is dead?

either that or a poltergeist has taken your comp as its home

Is it a cordless mouse? It might be batteries or something messing up the signal. If not then it's probably ghosts...

its a wire mouse, bummer i dont want ghosts

yeah, i've had the same issue. i'm going to go with ghosts... technological ghosts.

they exist see the wraith core rules book (if you can still find a copy). there's an arcanoi that deals directly with technology.

no, we're talking classic poltergeist here.....ok, you have a variety of choices:
1) Dip your computer (CPU, monitor, mouse AND keyboard, don't let the motherfucker escape!) in warm, bubbling chocolate...now it's important that it's NOT low-sugar chocolate. Let the chcolate dry and then take your chocolatified computer and eat the chcoalte around it while burping "In-A-gadda-da-vida" backwards.
or
2)Open your computer CPU, while the computer's on, and stick your head inside the box and scream "YOU OWE ME 2000 DOLLARS IN RENT, MOTHER FUCKER!!!", that should scare it away.
or
3) call the ghostbusters and tell them what your problem is
or
4) if you can't afford to ghostbust the thing out, just stick your head inside the CPU, while the comp's on, and hum the ghostbuster theme, that might spook it away, or it might just amuse it.
or
5)drop your entire computer (monitor, mouse, keyboard, CPU,the works) from a 5th floor onto heavy traffic. I guarantee the poltergeist will be out before the comp hits the floor.
or
6)Just but another puter.

7. knock a glass of holy water into it

[quote:9c8c38ad6e="Graventhorp"]
2)Open your computer CPU, while the computer's on, and stick your head inside the box and scream "YOU OWE ME 2000 DOLLARS IN RENT, MOTHER FUCKER!!!", that should scare it away.[/quote:9c8c38ad6e]

LoL!! :D

Installation instructions for the 48666(TM) chip.
(TM - Eternal Damnation Enterprises)
-------------------------------------------------

1. Open your computer out of direct sunlight behind closed curtains.

2. Using the static strap supplied, remove the 80486 chip from it's socket
on your motherboard and place it in the static-proof envelope. Not
that you'll ever use it again of course.

3. Remove the strap and take out the 48666 chip. Don't worry about
static, nothing in *this* Universe can harm it.

4. Wait for the ring of wailing and gnashing of teeth to subside.
By this time the smell of burning flesh and blood should have gone
and your vision should no longer be tainted with red.

5. Place the 48666 chip in your socket, making sure to put it label side
down and index mark away from index point.

6. Wait for the screaming of eternal damnation to subside

7. Withdraw the power cords from the back of your machine and monitor.
You won't be needing those anymore.

8. Remove any sound cards (Adlib/Soundblaster etc) and disconnect the
internal speaker. There are some things you just don't want to
hear. If the computer wants your attention, believe me, it'll
get it.

9. Disconnect any heat or smoke detectors in the immediate vicinity as these
have has a tendency to trigger these for some reason. This is a known
bug and nothing to worry about.

POWERING ON
-----------
10. To power on the machine, simply reach for the power button as if to
switch the machine on.

WARNING: Don't attempt to switch the machine off unless it has
told you to do so

WARNING2: Don't ever touch the control key. Best not to even
give the illusion that you have any control. Better
still, pry the keycap off or prefix "Control" with
"No". (Make sure the words NO *never* get worn off)

11. The startup tests should run in the following order:
Evil 1 thru 64
Pure Evil 1 thru 64
Pure Concentrated Evil 1 thru

12. You will notice that the brightness and contrast controls no longer
work on your monitor. Disconnecting your screen won't help either

13. Sooner or later you will realise that you can put as many floppies in
the drive as you like, but none will come out. Ever.

14. Ever

15. To use Intuitive FTP(tm), simply consider the disgusting images you
would like to view. You will be logged in via anonymous FTP to the
ftp site that currently has what you require.

16. It's probably not a good idea to allow other people use your PC.
Discourage them by hacking off their limbs with the rusty axe
supplied.

17. Speaking of rusty axes, do not enter games like Adventure and Dungeon.
Consequences of doing this are indeterminant.
Does anyone have a use for Axe-Weilding Trolls and knive throwing
dwarves?

Thank you for purchaing the 48666 chip - it should provide you a lifetimes
(hah!) service...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Notes:
The 48666 chip is copyrighted, trademarked and otherwise protected.
Remember, we might not catch up with you in this world, but in the
next... Oh Boy!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Amusing words by Simon Travaglia... the original BOFH.

If you don't know what a BOFH is, don't ask.