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<  UK  ~  Little Jimmys BIG adventure

Where should Jimmy the Monkey go next ?
Poll ended at Wed Aug 13, 2003 6:30 pm

Buckingham Palace to analy rodger the queen
[ 3 ] 60%
Soho to hire a hooker with a sock and an 8 ball
[ 1 ] 20%
Gatwick Airport (to many people use heathrow but i cant spell it)
[ 1 ] 20%
Track down the kind people who set him free
[ 0 ] 0%

Total votes : 5
PostPosted: Sun Aug 10, 2003 6:30 pm Reply with quote
User avatarBrujahPosts: 16Location: Sheffield, South Yorkshire, UKJoined: Fri Aug 08, 2003 12:39 am
(ok i dont know if this is gonna be the right place for this big adventure for a little monkey and if it isnt then i am sorry but i got the diea and it seemed good lol)

Little Jimmy was a monkey, he was a very clever monkey and could even count to 7, or was that 3 ? he had no idea because he was a little monkey, really, he was. I'm not talking about a child that you might call a little monkey if he was mischievous, no this was a real life bonofied monkey that lived in London Zoo.

Jimmys world was about to change, the IRA had reformed and there first act was to release all the animals in London Zoo onto the streets of London hoping that one of them would figure out how to use a gun and kill the queen. So much for a plan.

All of Jimmys friends had left the cage by the big hole where the bars were. Jimmy liked his cage, he liked his ass even more, especialy after a healthy meal. He sat for a while and looked around the cage. Bugger thsi he thought i need to get out of here and make my dash fro freedom. He didnt even know what the word bugger meant or even why he was thinking of buggering but he had heard Bert the monkey poo cleaner use it on a regular basis.

Jimmy had the world laid out before him, well perhaps a small street in London but still it was bigger than the cage. where should he go now though thought Jimmy.



Dream as if you'll live forever
Live as if you'll die today
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2003 10:35 pm Reply with quote
Get your clan name here - PM JuliusPosts: 0Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2003 10:20 pm
Chauncey sat upon a rather large stake. Indeed it had penetrated his posterior by a good 2 feet. When mortal, he had always been razzed about his particularly stiff gate. "Walked like he had a stick up his arse," was the phrase they used at Eton. Upon being embraced by a Tzimisce named Barbra, a noted singer from New York City, he felt that he might as well see what it like to have something permanently up his arse. He had watched his sire demonstrate fleshcrafting by elongating her nose into a monstrosity of ridiculous proportions. It did seem to excite her mortal lover, Brolin, however.

And so Chauncey sat.

And along came a monkey.

And so Chauncey slid off of his stake and decided, as he'd always wanted a pet monkey, to get a pet monkey. He thought it would be great fun to spank it from time to time.

Thus was Little Jimmy embraced.

"I shall bestow upon you, my little monkey, a pointy ass of ridiculous proportions," said the peculiar Tzimesce. Using his relatively new fuond powers of fleshcrafting as taught to him by his amply nosed sire Barbra, he made Little Jimmy's ass grow ten sizes that day. Pointy and long it was, so that the poor monkey had to troddle along stiffly upon his forefeet and backfeet. Three feet of bone jutted from his simian derrier.

"Off you go little monkey," said Chauncey with a light spank to Jimmy. "Make me proud."

OOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooh. Tra-la-la.
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 14, 2003 7:52 pm Reply with quote
User avatarToreadorPosts: 433Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2003 5:14 pm
So, where in the feck is the rest of this tale? I want to see the monkey roger the queen.

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 11:00 pm Reply with quote
User avatar???Posts: 4Location: ???Joined: Wed Oct 06, 2004 4:47 am
dear god, this is over 2 years old

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2005 8:55 pm Reply with quote
User avatarToreadorPosts: 433Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2003 5:14 pm
Incredible isn't it.

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 3:50 pm Reply with quote
User avatarToreadorPosts: 433Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2003 5:14 pm

4 years later, still waiting for the rest of the tale.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 4:40 am Reply with quote
User avatarToreadorPosts: 433Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2003 5:14 pm
Bump. Five years later.... still waiting. Jesus Christ, Valley, you got writers block?

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 11, 2009 7:14 pm Reply with quote
User avatarVentruePosts: 1553Location: Virginia, USAJoined: Fri Apr 04, 2003 5:05 pm
yeah really valley. and don't even PRETEND you don't check the boards every friggin day...cuz i know you do.

Money can't buy you friends, but it can buy you a better class of enemies.
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