I know this board has turned into something of a bitch fest from me lately...and I'm sorry...but it's an outlet and I have to take it.

I'm at a low spot at the moment. And it sucks because I know it should be a high spot. It's the first week of classes and where I'm usually stoked to learn and gain knowledge, I find myself feeling deflated and well...frankly...old. Not old as in an old man...but the population of the school is for the first time noticeably younger than I am. I mean, maybe at 24 I looked at these people and thought...not too far off.

But at 25 I feel out of place and awkward. I feel self concious. I feel vulnerable. Not welcome feelings for a man fresh out of a relationship. I miss the woman. She was my safety net, a poison net with HIV infected barbs, but a net nonetheless.

I find myself just wanting to call her, to cling on and find comfort. Whereas before all this school shit was encouraging because I had a dream...now I can barely muster any kind of willpower or drive. I don't want two more semesters of this. I just want to move on. I hate this place. And at the current moment I hate my life. I'm lonely and tired.

This was supposed to be my final semester. But now I have to take one class in the Spring. I don't know if I want to. I mean...I'd be an idiot not to simply finish, but it all seems so far. I'm not fresh any longer. Not inspired. And I'm alone.

A long time ago I got dumped by a fiancé after a six year long relationship. I was 22 at the time I think. Anyway, I went to work to ask for time off and I ended up in the office manager’s office, crying my eyes out. She said, quite simply, with as much sympathy as she could: “Sometimes it sucks to be an adult.” It was kind of cold, but of all the things well wishing people said over the months following the break-up that was the thing that stayed with me and the thing I remember to this day. It is true – sometimes it sucks to be an adult.

A while later I found myself going into the military. Just before I left for the army, I ran into a friend from high school and she was just getting out of the air force. We had dinner and it was clear she knew I was going to have a hard time in the military – and then she said something that has stuck with me to this day also, something that got me through the worst of the times in the army and through my break up: “No matter how bad things get, nothing lasts forever.”

I feel for you Gabe. Breaking up sucks, there is just no way around that. People might tell you it’s the best thing for you in the long run, that it opens up all new possibilities and all sorts of other happy-crappy stuff, but those things are hard to see through the tears of the moment – it hurts and it sucks. But, whether its for the best or not, to paraphrase my friend and much wiser people than me who have said the same thing for ages: “This too shall pass.”

And though we are far away and we connect with you only through a computer – you are not alone. You have all the folks on this board. Now, me saying that probably does not mean a whole lot – I have been missing for 3 years and even when I was here I was snake-in-the-grass and not exactly the comforting sort – but there are a lot of folks here who are your friends; real friends, even though you may not see them in person. Real, because they care about what happens to you; real because they want you to be happy. Don’t discount them just because they are behind a computer screen – friendship comes in many forms and I think you have several good friends here. So, take heart.

Sometimes it sucks to be an adult, but this too shall pass, and you are not alone.

What she said.. totally.

*gives Kem a hug and a kiss*

I just can't add to that...

PV I only wish i were as articulate as most everyone here. then i would have comforting words to give you. But im not. and i don't have much to say. except.






IF YOU DO THE EASY, STUPID THING AND QUIT SCHOOL, THE VAMPIRES ON THIS BOARD WILL TAKE UP A COLLECTION, RENT A PLANE, FLY AROUND THE WORLD PICKING UP EACH OF US AND HUNT YOU DOWN. THEN WE WILL ALL TAKE TURNS BEATING YOU WITH YOUR BOOKS. UNTILL THRU OSMOSIS YOU LEARN EVERYTHING WE HIT YOU WITH.


i admire you very much for sticking with it this long. don't let me down man.

Wow. Mood swings eh?

I feel a lot better thanks. Thanks for the super kind and really uplifting words Kem. They mean a lot...in all seriousness.

I've always thought one of the few positive qualities I have is the ability to keep perspective on things. It's why I can work 40 hours a week and go to school full time. It's why I can continually put off plans for the betterment of myself, a relationship, whatever. Sometimes that perspective just slips.

Your kind words reminded me of another friend I've never met and what he said...

[i:de54dc2a5d]Sunrise doesn't last all morning,
And a cloudburst doesn't last all day.
Seems my love has up and left you with no warning,
It's not always gonna be this way.

All things must pass...
Nothing good can last.
All things must pass away.[/i:de54dc2a5d]

I just drink a lot when I'm low. I would suggest a nice belgian ale or a single malt scotch. That is the best thing.

*thinks about the last time he drank scotch* violent, rage driven mood swing....not good

It is generally women who hit an age crisis at the ripe maturity of 25 yrs. but men can do it as well. They just generally take longer, about 27 and on up to 30. I'm happy to tell you that [b:7dd7b81ef6]YOU[/b:7dd7b81ef6] hit it a tad early. Sort of an early puberty for your life. :twisted: Regardless, it's quite true that nothing lasts forever and what ever goes up, must come down. Yeah, right, excepting for prices and taxes and we all know [b:7dd7b81ef6]that[/b:7dd7b81ef6] one!!

I remember sitting in the marriage counselor's office (with my first husband, Gary) and realizing I was a quarter century old! My life didn't quite flash before my eyes but it wanted to! Needless to say, it chilled me to the bone and I suddenly felt about 75 yrs. oldER. Fortunately, my daughter came along and taught me what old really was! Somehow, I got over that hump, expecially when I found out that no one excapes this. Well, no one sane, that is. hehehe

It doesn't bother me now, to know that I'm ahead of the generations that have spawned since my time. I figure, at this point, that I'm so much smarter than them, that I'll live longer due to sheer stubborness and the ability to keep myself from doing anything truly stupid and life threatening. At least, I'd like to think so! Heh. :shock:

In any case, James, you're among friends of like minds and experiences. Feel free to rant and rave anytime. :D

HUGS!!

Thanks Trish.

And to the rest who had such kind words. I really am feeling a world of difference now. Just a temporary dip in mood was all.

But thanks. :)

Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in one's own problems and forget how good we have it.

[quote:571e1c8e23="Lady Cyrilynn"] They just generally take longer, about 27 and on up to 30. [/quote:571e1c8e23]

And 31, 32, 33, 34, 35....

[quote:13768c90aa="Julius Darrant"][quote:13768c90aa="Lady Cyrilynn"] They just generally take longer, about 27 and on up to 30. [/quote:13768c90aa]

And 31, 32, 33, 34, 35....[/quote:13768c90aa]

Amen to that...